A strange solution
by cloudycloud16
Summary: Cartman and Kyle have started a relationship in a weird way. The question is, will it last?


"Cartman?..."

I jump. At the doorstep of my room I can see -through my teary eyes- Kenny, Stan and... Kyle. The person I hate the most in my life. As I see them I quickly realize that I'm still crying.

"O-Oh! W-Wh-What are you assholes doing here?!" I yell as I fastly wipe my tears away.

"Well... We wanted to go play basketball with you and your mom said you're upstairs in your room but... We see you're busy." Kenny says what sounded more like a muffle because of his hood. I feel heat rising to my face. Probably because I'm embarrassed.

"Dude were you crying?" Stan chuckles at me and starts laughing a little.

That fucking hippie!

"Cartman is everything alright?" I turn my head to Kyle and notice him blushing a little.

Why is that jew blushing?

"I-I'm fine K-Kahl..." I see him jump a little and blush even harder as I put emphasis on his name... and he seems to be aroused by that. Wait... when did I fucking get so rich in words?! Whatever.

"Dude. Seriously. Why were you crying?" Kyle seems worried as hell about me and I have no fucking idea why, because apparently he hates me with every gut that he has.

"Guys I'm fine. We can go play basketball now." As hard as it seems I try not to punch the hell out of Stan who's still laughing his ass off. Goddamn hippie.

"Oh hell no." Kenny says as he takes his hood off "We are staying here and you're telling us EVERYTHING." He grabs me by my sleeve and sets me down on the floor next to Kyle. Why does that ginger seem so fucking happy to be sitting next to me? The thing that's even weirder is that his knee is really close to mine which was very alarming.

"Okay. Now, talk." Kenny says with a very serious tone.

"Fiiiiiinnnee..." I look up to face Kenny and Stan. Not really Kyle because his a little out of my vision. Reason: He's really close to me. Which sets off so many alarms in my head.

I gulp and start talking.

"The reason I cry is because..." I pause to think and think about my next sentence. "It's because I'm jealous of you all..."

I open my eyes, which were closed, and see that Kenny, Stan and Kyle all have puzzled looks on their face. I start to speak again.

"I'm jealous because you all have completed families. Sure there are problems but at least your mother's are normal, your dad's are there and you all have siblings... While my mom is a body selling whore, I don't have any idea who my father is or if he even exists and I don't have any siblings to comfort me."

I look up and see them all with worried looks. I continue and as I do, tears are starting to run down my cheeks.

"And you all have a feature that goes well with your personality. Kenny's badass, Stan's mature and Kyle's smart." My eyes drive over all of them and stop at Kyle's. He's redder than he was before and he has a small smile plastered across his face.

"And those are all the things I don't have. I'm selfish, spoiled and all the other things that are bad about me. My self esteem is hanging on a thread and I started crying more often than I had before." I stop talking and do the exact opposite. I stay silent and sob loudly.

"Cartman we-" I hear Stan say.

"Stan!" Kenny hisses.

"What? What did I do?" Stan seemes to be really confused.

"His name is Eric you dumbass!" Kyle hisses with obvious concern in his voice. I can feel the jew put his hand on my shoulder which sets off even more alarms than before. I have mixed feelings about this situation because Stan is sitting there like an idiot while Kenny glares at him in annoyance, and Kyle has leaned VERY close to me which sends my body off to the side a little.

"Um... Kahl?" I can feel the heat rising to my face again. But this time I have no idea why.

"O-Oh... OH! Oh jeez I'm so sorry Eric!" When he says my name it sends a strong shiver down my spine. Normally the only people who call me by my name is Butters, my mom and the other adults. I have never heard it come out of Kyle's mouth. Never.

"Sorry guys but I gotta go. My mom just texted me that dinner's ready." Stan stands up and walks out of my room.

"Welp. I'm gonna get going too. I promised Karen that I'll play with her." And with that he leaves too. So that only leaves me and Kyle.

"Well?" I ask.

"Well what?" He answers with a question like an idiot.

"Aren't you going to leave?" I tell him. Okay I just answered a question with a question. Bravo Eric.

"Oh hell no. I am NOT going to leave. I'm gonna be beside you the whole night wether you like it or not. Okay?" His answer kinda surprised me. I never heard so much care in his voice when he was talking with me.

"Wait... Don't you have to tell your mom that you're going to be here or something?" I ask.

"No. At least not now. I already sent her the info and she's okay with it." He answers.

"Oh. Okay then." There's a short akward silence between us.

"I think we should get ready for bed. It's getting kinda late." I acknowledge.

"Yeah. Okay." He says.

After we both showered and got into our pijamas, I took out the inflatable mattress and plugged it in. We waited a couple of minutes and after it was done I took the plug out and got in my bed.

"Night Kahl."

"Night... Eric."

After a while I doze off.

I wake up to the sound of soft, but still audible moans. At first I thought it was my mom just having at it with a guy that she brought home. But it wasn't her. The sound was inside my room. I quietly get up and lean over to see that Kyle... is jacking off. What the fuck?! I can see that he's holding a photo of someone in his free hand. I lean in a little closer and see that the person on the photograph... IS ME?!

Why in the goddamn fuck would Kyle have a photo of me?! AND WHY IS HE JACKING OFF TO IT?!

"Oh Eric..." I hear Kyle whisper. "You're so... Ngh... so handsome..."

I feel myself blush.

Does Kyle really have a crush on me? Wow. WOOOOOOOW.

"But I think you don't even have a clue about that..." Wait what? I can hear slight sobbing. Is he really crying? Because I didn't notice that he's in love with me? Hmmm... I've got an idea.

"K-Kyle?" I say trying to sound like I just woke up for no reason.

"E-ERIC!" He jumps. Probably because he didn't expect me to just catch him like that.

"Kyle why are you up?" I ask like I don't know why.

"O-Oh. It's n-nothing I just couldn't sleep." He sounds like he's trying to make up an excuse. I get down from my bed and kneel on the mattress really close to Kyle who's supposed to be my arch-enemy.

"You know Kyle..." I get a little closer to him. "You were always cute when you're confused..." And with that sentence said I giggle a little and bring my face even closer to his. Looks like I got my seducing skills after my mom. Huh, who would have thought?

3... 2...1 and my lips touched his.

They feel kinda nice actually.

"Mmmm" I hear him hum. He's clearly enjoying the kiss because before I know it I'm pinned down by him. Being on the bottom is actually nice.

Seconds pass and we're still making out.

Not so soon after we pull apart.

"I didn't know you kiss so good." I say with a smile plastered on my face.

"I guess... Heh..." He chuckles.

"Well I guess we are a thing now."

"Yeah."

"Are you happy?"

Kyle smiles.

"Yeah."

 ** _The end_**


End file.
